How does yours grow, Mary?

"Ooh, I wouldn’t have planted it there!"

The National Gardens Scheme is a Good Thing. People open their gardens – anything from the poshest estate to a humble cottage flower-bed – and all the money taken at the gate goes to charity. (From the Gateway, select "Home & garden". The National Gardens Scheme is under "Gardening".)
The proceeds from the guide to gardens ("The Yellow Book") also go to charity, and it has lots of gorgeous photos, but if all you want to do is find out what’s open near you, there is a very efficient search box on the website. You can search by name, by county, or by inserting your postcode, how far you want to travel, and when.
Garden visiting is a great pastime on a sunny day. If you don’t have a garden of your own, or you’ve got one but can’t be bothered weeding it, you can enjoy the results of other people’s efforts. And if you are a keen gardener, you can whisper derogatory remarks about how much better your Peaonia Lactiflora is than the one you’re looking at.
Sometimes, you can get a cup of tea and a piece of cake. How civilised.

Get some royal advice

So you’ve been round and sneered at the neighbour’s brassicas, and decided that there’s clearly nothing to this gardening lark – all you need is a bit of advice and encouragement. Why not try the Royal Horticultural Society (from the Gateway, select "Home & garden"; the Royal Horticultural Society is under "Gardening").
If this sounds a bit grand, don’t be put off. Like a lot of similar organisations, the RHS is into inclusiveness in a big way. Their flower shows may be big and their gardens magnificent, but they want as much of the shine as possible to rub off on the proud owner of a pocket-handkerchief garden or just a window-box.
They will help you to choose plants, give you advice on growing them; they will even tell you where to go to see what they should look like if you grow them properly.
You can become a member and get extra benefits – swan around the Chelsea Flower Show on special days, that sort of thing – but any visitor to the website, member or not, is made to feel welcome.
My bonsai’s looking a bit sick. I wonder if that nice Alan Titchmarsh would have a look at it…